Wednesday, February 7, 2018

"I'm going to make a lifechanging decision this week"

I seldom blog, though more often recently thanks to joining the Cool Tools for Schools class, but I've got something weighing on my brain and needed to share.

Yesterday, I had usual flow of iStaff (student volunteers) into the library for their shifts.  Sometimes we work in tandem, sometimes they branch out on their own.

While working to finish up a job with one student, he offered, "I'm making a lifechanging decision this week." The serious tone set me aback.  We continued working and he proceeded to share.

"I am moving to a different lunch table," he said with conviction.  "I can't take it anymore and am going to solve my own problems this time."  I commended him on sticking up for himself and did that teacher thing when we remind kids to tell an adult.  

He continued. He was convinced, he said, that when the new table said that the open chair wasn't "really available" he didn't believe them.  He said he was going to keep track over the next few days and investigate before he made his final move.

He seemed concerned and frustrated, but wasn't complaining.  He seemed willing to do his part to find a more welcoming group. He also seemed heavy hearted. 

Our conversation ended, as some do, with the need to change classes, other people on the scene, and that whole "reality" thing.

I can't, however, stop thinking about him and how it reminded (though I know it's sadly true) me that:
  • even a 30 minute lunch period can cause incredible angst for kids
  • finding a welcoming group in any setting, even lunch, can be all consuming
  • so much energy can be taken up just trying to belong
  • "lifechanging decisions" can mean so many different things 
And mostly, it reminded me that it is relationships, trust, and time that empower students to tell their story. We need to stop. We need to listen.  We need to be an advocate and sounding board.

If we are too busy to do that, kids might be making "lifechanging decisions" without anyone even knowing about them.   



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